Even the spiritually enlightened get caught in the maelstrom of stress. Stress seems inherent in every major decision process and doubly so in divorces. Why? Because no one has enough good information to choose correctly! Inherent in our exercise of choice and is a basic assumption, that there is enough information to illuminate the best choice and eliminate unproductive paths.

How to apply this to your life? I find my divorce clients constantly making choices. Instead, they should choose three things: 1) to seek the best information, 2) trust it, and 3) act on their belief of it. The general failure to do this is why history repeats itself. Mankind has an amazing capacity for ignoring credible facts that are disagreeable. Unearthing unpleasant information has a chilling effect on the seeker, who doesn’t want to be proved wrong. The seeker minimizes the information, clinging stubbornly to tatters of their untested belief, which is under assault. This suppression of “what is so” generates the indecision causing stress. Relief is often sought not by returning to the best information but by seeking confirmation for the preferred idea from any other source. Suddenly validity isn’t quite as important as agreement. There is what’s right and there is what appears easy. We tend to prefer the latter even though it’s unrealistic.

Seek the Best Information means getting a good source. In any endeavor, spend the time at the outset to locate the best source. If you are arrested on a serious criminal charge, a family lawyer is not a good source. Similarly, if you have a contentious divorce, do not hire a criminal lawyer. Defer to your qualified good source over the opinions of unqualified sources, like friends and family.

Expect the Best Information to cost more. The law of balance calls for you to provide energy equal to your desired result. Your chosen spiritual lifestyle requires dedication and cost. Extra effort is necessary for everything from organic produce to recycling. Supplements effective for cancer treatment are unlikely to be found at your local dollar store! Similarly, in the fight for your children’s next 12 years, expect expensive legal fees. Be wary of sources where you cannot see the energy exchange required, as it is always there. Some sources hide their costs (giving only starter costs upfront, lose weight while eating just chocolate…) when the exchange is unequal.

If You’ve Done the Work to Get the Source, Trust the Information. If you believe the universe is a friendly place (and I do), then it will guide you to information necessary to make good decisions. Here’s the trick, when you get it, stop and listen! Too many investigate endlessly (not trusting their intuition) or disagree with the information because it isn’t what (unqualified) others told them. Trying to un-see “reality” causes stress. You most need to hear what you least want to hear.

Believing in and Acting On Your Good Info Through Adversity. Stress is fear of the consequences of your choices, sometimes in advance (anxiety) and sometimes after the fact (guilt). It is the twin of uncertainty and indecision and it cannot exist where choices are trusted. When you really believe your choice is required by your knowledge, the consequences simply are what they are and the iron grip of fear loses its stranglehold. Does your understanding coupled with your purpose require your action? If so, the results are part of what the universe has for you. First ask yourself, “Am I committed to believing my action is my best choice, given my current knowledge? Where you answer yes, the consequences hold less fear because they are in line with your greatest good.

Remember - Good information forms beliefs. Beliefs fueled by trusted choices compel good actions. Don’t let your stress destroy the first step by paralyzing you from seeking and evaluating your information.

Tanya Stewart, Esq., owner of The Stewart Law Firm practices 100% Family Law in the Metro Atlanta area focusing on divorce, custody and child support.  www.completefamilylaw.com