By employing the technology of what I call applied mindfulness – eyes open, moment-by-moment, conscious meditative attention to what is going on within and without us, we can subsequently acquire an acutely sharp level of focused, non-self-oriented re-mindedness that makes every aspect of spiritual etiquette practically a breeze to authentically, transparently master.

Becoming mindful allows you to be able to see the effect you have upon all the living beings you come into contact with as well as the physical environment you dwell in, and to avoid “going unconscious” and stop running an outdated yet ingrained program, making the same old mistakes you’ve repeated in the past. What is also cool is that you develop increased sensitivity about and toward others, as your intuitive radar becomes less cluttered with low energy interference you’ve not been able to filter out when your mind was running destructive (and often inaccurate) chatter based on stuck mental patterns.

It is because I have witnessed how extraordinary mindfulness is and its ability to pass through walls of egoic resistance, I have dedicated my own life’s work to be an educator of its transformative influence in helping to positively redirect human behavior within a myriad of life situations, especially where we find ourselves in conflict with others – and with our own self. The fact that we are all communicating all the time is inarguable. How and what we communicate is something we absolutely have control over based upon our choices – yet, as I said above, sometimes our choices lead us down paths that cultivate increased separation and conflict with our fellow human beings. However, if we put our minds to it by using the techniques of applied mindfulness, we can communicate humanity in all of our interactions. In my work in conflict mediation it has been my unwavering belief if you acknowledge and treat all parties with genuine respect, empathy, compassion and kindness, you are more able to reach in and gently grab hold of their hearts as well as their minds, and the peace building journey reaches far beyond an isolated incident between two opposing sides. The same thing occurs when I work privately with someone and teach him or her self-mediation skills. When we communicate humanity, there is a magnificent alchemy that takes place because it acknowledges both individual dignity and interdependence, and is like a salve on open and raw wounds, even when those wounds are ones we have inflicted upon ourselves.

In this new column I will explore the vast and exquisite mysteries of the human mind and the brain itself, and help you learn how to be at the helm of your own ship instead of a slave to the whims, distractions and sink holes an unfocused mind can lead you into. From that place of ever-increasing clarity and equanimity, we will be able to make increasingly more conscious and humane choices and decisions that will engender greater inclusiveness and allow each if us to communicate humanity instead of communicating division – and at the same time not choose behaviors that enable or glorify the darker sides of human nature – including our own.

Although you may be familiar with mindfulness meditation techniques via the work of Jon Kabat-Zinn and others, I will not presume that is the case with everyone. Even if you do, it’s always wise to step back into beginner’s mind from time to time. The rest of this month’s column will be about actively bringing mindfulness into your every day life via meditation.

Although I am an advocate of any type of formal meditation, I have found that in mindfulness training, a sit-down, passive form of meditation is not as effective as one that has you actively, physically engaged. Before it was widely taught by Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh, I began practicing what he calls “walking meditation,” and if you are able to walk, I concur it is highly effective in helping you develop a keen sense of present-mindedness. It is also much easier than sitting meditation, which brings forth both ego-resistance and internal conflict in many, and that is why they give up. But don’t be tempted to connect “easy” with “non-effective”; walking meditation can be a very intense, yet also highly enjoyable experience.

The heart of mindfulness practice is developing clear, focused attention in every moment, and bringing presence into every life situation, and it takes time and effort to master. If you are easily distracted, walking meditation is an absolute boon in the process. The first time you practice walking meditation, give it a half hour minimum, and if possible, go to a quiet place like a park, or anywhere in nature where you are likely to be able to walk undisturbed. Although you will ultimately move into practicing walking meditation in the middle of a crowd and mindfulness in the middle of traffic, it is important to at first not place yourself into any stressful situation that may cause you frustration while you are creating new mental grooves – and before you can extend compassion, empathy, and kindness toward others, those qualities must reside within you.

So to begin with, just become aware of your body as you walk, and notice the critical and/or chattering voice that may arise within, but don’t give it any energy to allow it to spin off out of control. Just bring your focus back to your body in a detached way, such as “Oh, my right foot feels a bit tender today,” but don’t analyze or obsess about it. Practice walking meditation daily if possible, as erratic practice will have little benefit. As you get better at keeping your awareness grounded in your body, you can then add the elements of living mindfully into all aspects of your life. See you next month!

Suzanne Matthiessen combines Transformative Conflict Mediation and Applied Mindfulness skills to help individuals and groups discover productive, solutions to debilitating and costly interpersonal communication problems. For more information please visit her new website CommunicatingHumanity.org