Welcome, little kittens, to
Cat 101. Today we are going to learn the truth about humans. The first
thing you need to understand is that humans have the mental age of
a two-week-old kitten. Their eyes are starting to open and they see
a few things, but they cannot express themselves with body language
because they have no tail and no whiskers. Their hair will not stand
up and their ears will not move around. With a lot of work, you can
teach your human what you are trying to convey to them through these
gifts that you have. They will try to communicate with you by picking
a word and repeating it to you over and over again when they want to
see you like “Fluffy” or “Pookey” or “Button”.
(Button is short for “Butt In Your Face”). If they would
just learn our “Meow” language they might get somewhere
with us, but they never learn. Dogs come when called, Cats take a message
and get back to you later ---------- Maybe.
Sounds that are worth learning and responding to are the noise of
a can opener, a knife hitting a cutting board and the rustle of a grocery
bag. Go directly to the kitchen. Do not stop at the food dish or litter
box. There’s always time for that later. The eager, over anxious dog
might get what you are trying to manifest. You have manifested it, so
claim it! Sharp claws prevail over loud boisterous barks every time.
In the course of domesticating your human, keep rubbing on them to mix
your scents. |
They just don’t understand that
mixing scents is a way to identify & become close with your family,
so just keep doing it. You will make a family. If your human doesn’t
understand you, you can always take up social work in the neighborhood
among the lonely humans. When your human is out to work, others may
be at home and will feed you or let you come inside. This is especially
nice in winter when your human is at work and turned the central heat
colder because some of them think that since we have a built in fur
coat we like the cold. Guess again, human. Why do they think we lay
in front of the fireplace, over the heating vent or on the windowsill
in the sun? Anyway, there’s nothing wrong with having a second
home, especially one with kids to pet you all day long and pass the
human food on to you that they don’t like. “Take turns,
kiddies, there’s enough cat here for everyone!” Yes, little
kittens, learn your lessons well and yours will be a happy life manifesting
your every dream!
 Herb
The Cat is a freelance writer for Oracle 20-20 magazine
and life coach to all the cool cats.
He can be reached at
herb@oracle20-20.com
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