As more and younger Americans become “mere” millionaires,
many are experiencing a letdown - what Peggy Lee sang about in
the late 1960’s hit:, “Is that All There Is?
“Is that all there is? Is that all there is? If that’s
all there is, my friend, then let’s keep dancing! We’ll
kick up our heels and have a ball! If that’s all there is.”
But if Socrates and Aristotle considered happiness worthy of serious
philosophizing, you and I can pause at this beginning of a new
year to reflect on the importance of cultivating happiness in our
lives.
Perhaps that is why so many non-religious Americans are attracted
to the non-theistic spirituality of Buddhism and Taoism – these
religions exalt the emotional state of equanimity – that
midpoint between ecstasy and acceptance. The Dalai Lama seems to
dwell in a permanent state of happiness that still allows him clarity
of vision to the suffering and injustices that are a constant presence.
Christians may recognize this form of happiness as a state of indwelling
serenity or “the peace that passes all understanding.”
In fact, once we put conscious awareness on the energy identified
as happiness, we develop the ability to discern the related energies
of compassion, gratitude, trust and forgiveness and choose to live
as much of our lives as possible in at least one of these emotional
states.
Does it strike you as a bit trivial, Pollyanna-ish, or superficial
to study happiness? If so, I would invite you to consider the implications
of living in a therapeutic culture such as ours.
The dictionary defines therapy as treatment of a disorder – be
it mental or/and physical. A culture that has become oriented toward
treating disorders is not adept at recognizing, nurturing, teaching
and supporting a livable level of happiness. At the extreme, it
may not believe happiness is a sustainable or realistic state of
mind! People who overtly cultivate their ability to stay grounded
or centered in happiness may find themselves accused of attempting
to “escape from reality!” It gives a whole new meaning
to, “life sentence;” the idea of being imprisoned in “REALITY.”
Our American society is becoming more and more addictive in nature
(the CDC reports that fully one-third of our adults are now clinically
obese) as we focus on finding ways to numb the symptoms of the
emotional pain we are living with, I believe.
In my practice as a life coach specializing in teaching clients
how to overcome their patterns of self-sabotage, I begin with persons
who find themselves at a loss for words when they are feeling physically
well, the job is rewarding or they’re really enjoying just
being alive. They can find the most precise, nuanced and vivid
descriptions of their suffering, their disappointments and accidents;
but have a hard time identifying and describing when they are enjoying
good or great states of being. |
Self-sabotage is triggered by a well-meant,
but misplaced effort, to save ourselves from intolerable
levels of anxiety as we edge closer and closer to transformation.
No matter how much preparation we have made, if we’re committed
to making an intentional, purposeful life change there comes
a moment when we look out over the abyss that leads to a new
life and have to make a dizzying “leap of faith.” Learning
how to envision and then become not only comfortable but also
passionate about the future we’re dreaming up is crucial
to our success.
More and more scientists and therapists are turning their attention
and efforts to the study and cultivation of happiness. On a hunch,
I did a search on Amazon.com for all new English language, non-fiction
titles with “happiness” or “happy” before
2000 and was given a total of 638 book titles listed in order of “relevance.” The
first book listed is, The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living
by the Dalai Lama and Howard Cutler, published in October, 1998.
After 1999, Amazon.com lists 1,079 new English-language, non-fiction
book titles with “happiness” or “happy” in
them. Listed first is Zen and the Art of Happiness by Chris Prentiss,
published in June, 2006.
The National Institute of Health is publicizing studies that show
a significant link between depression and physical health risks
including heart attack, stroke, cancer and (a few weeks ago) brittle
bone disease (precursor to osteoporosis). It is also releasing
studies that show the health benefits of the emotional states of
gratitude, happiness, satisfaction and forgiveness.
So here you and I are together, embarking on the adventure of entering
a new year. I invite you to join me in looking beyond goal setting
and ask:
•How do I need to live to be centered in happiness;
•What do I need to do to develop the resilience to return
to my natural state of happiness;
•Who do I want to share my life with happily,
•Where do I need to be that contributes to my happiness;
•When do I need to heal, restore and renew myself;
•Who/what is the source of my happiness.
In this context, our lives cannot help but embody success! In
this reality we are not captives seeking an escape, but neighbors
learning to love one another as we are learning to love ourselves!
Happy new year, indeed!
 To
learn more about Lauralyn Bellamy, her coaching program, her
art workshops, spiritual development coaching, and more! Visit:
www.embodysuccess.spaces.live.com www.yourchaplain.com/yourspirituality.htm www.yourchaplain.com/workshops.htm and/or www.lbellamy.dreamcoach.com
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