Can birth order (your chronological spot within a family) influence your career, friends and relationships?  “Absolutely. There’s not a more profound effect in life than one’s birth order,” says psychologist and author Dr. Kevin Leman, who wrote The New Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are, and The Birth Order Connection.

So does having an imperfect birth past, mean that you’re doomed forever? Not at all! We can actually learn about ourselves–by recognizing birth order personalities. Read on. Dr. Leman will show you how birth order can be used as a secret tool in your life–both professionally and personally.

First Born - Loves To Achieve - Typical Traits: leader, scholar, perfectionist

“First borns tend to be reliable, conscientious, list-makers of life. They know exactly how life ought to be and don’t like surprises,” says Leman. “What’s more, they are the movers and shakers. This, in turn, delivers responsible and self-reliant leaders.

Your Career: Welcome to the world of accountants, anesthesiologists, engineers and librarians. The common thread is perfection plus; these jobs recruit Type A driven people where perfection pays.

Your Friends: First borns are bookworms, and their best friends are often books. If the parent- bond is not a strong one, says Leman, the first-born might turn out to be introspective. “The typical first born is loyal,” he adds. That means, first borns will have few friends–but good friends.

Your Relationships: “The very traits and abilities that enable you to succeed at work, at church or in other organizations will often work against you in your close, personal relationships,” says Leman. And that includes perfection wreaking havoc on your sex life.

Middle Child - Wants To Be Different - Typical Traits: social lion, independent thinker, diplomat

Many parents have a “been there, done that” attitude and often let the first-born child take over. Middles can have less pictures in the family album, too. “They’re the most likely to feel alienated in their own family,” says Leman. As a result, second children “tend to have a competitive spirit, are stubborn as a mule and walk to a different beat,” he adds.

Your Career: Typical middles enjoy the social arena. That means they are your social workers–people who negotiate by nature. Also, they are team players. And the second born, a natural diplomat, is a natural hard worker, too.

Your Friends: “To obtain rewards and recognition, the squeezed-out middle child goes outside the family to create another ‘family’ where she can feel special. First borns typically have fewer friends; middle children have many,” points out Leman.

Your relationships: Two married middles, like Mark, 29, and Sylvia 32, “may not communicate because their urge to avoid conflict wins out over their natural tendency to be mediators and negotiators,” says Leman. Thus, their love boat can end up a Titanic.

Last Born - Loves To Have Fun -Typical Traits: charming, people-oriented, attention-seeking

“Life is a beach for the baby of the family,” says Leman. After all, parents lavish attention on the last born because they’re new. And, let’s face it, last borns often love being in the limelight.

“Youngest children in the family are typically the outgoing charmers, the personal manipulators,” adds Leman. “They are also affectionate, uncomplicated and sometimes, a little absent-minded. Their ‘What? Me worry?’ approach to life gets smiles.”

Your Career: The babies can be top salespeople. They can sell anything to anyone because they are oh-so charming. And they can be very successful, says Leman, because they glean the goods above them in the family.

Your Friends: Last borns also have oodles of friends. “The baby might use friends for their own gain,” cautions Leman. He adds, “They stay as long as their friends are giving them things, time and attention. It’s when that friend doesn’t serve a purpose that the baby might move onto other relationships.”

Your Relationship: Pampered last borns gravitate toward first borns. The reason: He’ll take care of her needs. If an older male had younger siblings, he might be a perfect caretaker, says Leman. But note, the baby can be a free spirit or so insecure she’ll always have to be cooed over. Not fun for other folks. P.S. The last born is a mega flirt!

Only Child - Want To Be Super Perfect - Typical Traits: confident, driven, logical

Only children are like first borns–just add the word “super” to their thoughts and actions. “Onlys are little adults by age seven. They are extremely grown up early,” says Leman. “If you want to hire someone to do the job right, hire the only child. They do extremely well in life. And they’re usually very responsible.”

Your Career: CEO slots are super-perfect for the super onlys. Any career that requires being meticulous–from surgeon to scientist–the only child is going to excel in because perfection and brains are needed to achieve, explain Leman, and they will fit the bill perfectly.

Your Friends: Super perfectionist only children have very few friends. After all, lonely onlys have high expectations of their friends which can’t be met. People will fall short and run, not walk, ways from the only child who will try to perfect them, too.

Your Relationships: Again, if you’re a perfectionist neurosurgeon, that’s one thing, says Leman, bu it's not so great in the relationship department. However, if the parent bond was positive, onlys can go for–and get–the mate of their dreams.

Cal Orey is a disaster preparedness expert and the author of The Healing Powers of Vinegar, Revised and Updated, The Healing Powers of Olive Oil and SuperSensitives: Can You Sense Danger (Feb. 08). Log onto her websites at www.calorey.com and
www.earthquakeepi-center.com for more information and links about disaster preparedness.