Hi! Kitties everywhere! As Thanksgiving looms over us, we think of the supposedly true story of the Pilgrims who were rescued by the Indians from starvation, making them eternally grateful.
Today in every story of our history we have political correctness. This means that people have to say and do what they think others expect that is compassionate, loving, giving and caring whether they think so or not. We thank everyone, expecting them to be overwhelmed by our “feel goodness”.
We cats have a different perspective. First there are our secret thoughts about humans, like “in a purrfect world there would be special ice cream for cats”. How about Tuna flavored or Salmon? My favorite is Micecream! It comes from Ben & Jerry’s. Sometime you will have to check it out. You know, when you stop to get a gallon or two for your cat, on the way home, just take a taste! Yah! You won’t be able to resist, so when you stop, you had better buy Five gallons so we won’t know that you tasted it and can’t resist.
KOWABUNGA! It reminds me of Hooty’s “Merlin’s Majical oil” by the same name. Works every time. Fantabulous! Good thing that humans never got a taste for mice. I don’t know why, after all it’s the most fantabulous flavor I have ever allowed to rest upon my palate! Good, Good, Good! Even though humans can not be trained to eat mice, they can be trained to bring back the correct cat food if you persist. You just can not give in. You can NOT eat anything that they bring unless it is your favorite brand and flavor. Just persevere! Keep on rejecting what is inappropriate for you and you will get the right flavor and brand!

You might require them to attend a special “Shopping Class” to train them as to your favorites, after all it’s you who is the center of all that is in your world. Remember that! After all, humans are always sooooooo selfish.
You know how much room they take up on the bed. It does not matter whether it is regular, Queen or king. And it really does not matter whether there are two or one of them. Flopping and floundering around, kicking and turning and flailing ! All we want is our share. There is a sofa bed down stairs if you can’t be still. If you insist on sleeping in the Master bedroom, remember that WE are the masters and WE belong here. You think that it is a touching display of affection, but it’s really only just irritating. Be still or leave! Then during the day, remember; build us day beds high up on the shelves. Line them with clean sheets and a special heater for warmth. This shows us that you are truly grateful for us in your lives. This is what Thanksgiving is all about.

Herb The Cat is a freelance writer who is grateful for everything in his life, especially the humans when they understand us and “get it”.