To Truly Love…
I felt held in the hands of GOD!
by Niki Collins-Queen
We were ten nervous strangers at the beginning of our Experiential Group. Ten hours together and three days later we were best friends. We had just completed a workshop at a Conference on Group Leadership sponsored by the Atlanta Group Psychotherapy Society. Our group had once again worked its magic. Creating a safe loving space is what makes groups so powerful. We were not only encouraged to share our stories but give and receive feedback, work through unfinished business, do our anger and grief-work, discover and release fears and intimacy blocks, confront and be confronted and gain new insights about ourselves and others. We learned how honesty and truth has transformational power that results in love and compassion.
We shared our joys and sorrows about families, friends, sexuality, politics, religion, gender, spirituality, race, war and nationality. No subject was taboo. We laughed and cried as we spoke about our lives and how we saw each other. Our connectedness made it easy to not only love and cherish each other but also ourselves. I felt held in the hands of GOD!
I learned the most through people’s stories and when we related directly to each other. I was surprised at the intensity of my fear, anger and grief. I was even more stunned when these emotions turned into love when I spoke about them. It felt good to be with people who risked being open and vulnerable rather than playing it safe with chit-chat about the weather. Sharing with people who could ask, “What’s my part in this?” or “Whose problem is this—mine or yours?”
A group member was told she reminded us of a beautiful rose red bush. However, we had to navigate her sharp thorns to enjoy her incredible roses. She said the image resonated as her family and others had hurt her and she felt a need to protect herself. The powerful life story she then shared touched and enriched our lives.
Another group member said that I reminded her of a large sunflower that moved to absorb the warmth of the sun. The group agreed and said I give off as much warmth as I absorb. Her image of me is a gift I will cherish always.
Another group member learned that their sexual innuendoes pushed people away—the opposite of what they intended.
The deep sharing in group brought back vivid memories of my first safe environment 20 years ago in Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’ five-day intensive “Living, Dying and Transition Workshop.” Elizabeth believes each of us has the capacity to love others unconditionally and it is our unfinished business or negativity that keeps us from doing so. In her workshop she created an environment where we were encouraged to express pain, hurt or rage in an atmosphere of love and acceptance so we can be done with it. Feelings were not to be talked about but felt. If sad, we cried; if angry, we were given a rubber hose and an old telephone book and were told, “Have at it!” I was skeptical about what this outpouring of negativity would accomplish. Yet it worked and I was amazed as depressed, hostile or tense people transformed themselves into radiant, light, loving people right before my eyes. I realized in this workshop that we are all connected and how our life stories are much the same.
I grieved when I heard that Elisabeth died recently. She picked me up when I was down and I am a better person because of her. Yet her spirit was with me in this group when I remembered her words, “To love means not to impose your own powers on another but offer them your help. And if they refuse it, be proud that they can do it on their own strength. To love means to live without fear and anxiety about tomorrow. To love means never to be afraid of the wind-storms of life. Should you shield the canyon from the windstorms you would never see the beauty of their canyons.”
To read Niki’s article’s or more abour her book “Earth the Forgotten Temple: A spirit Quest in the Wilderness” go to www.authorsden.com/nikicollinsqueen
Niki Collins-Queen is a Licensed Professional Counselor and the author of “Earth, the Forgotten Temple: A Spirit Quest in the Wilderness.” She can be reached at earth31029@yahoo.com or www.authorsden.com/nikicollinsqueen
Be My Valentine
by Kyria Alu’ela Lumina Upon awakening another Valentine’s Day morning, I found myself looking in the mirror feeling the sadness I have felt so many times before, thinking “and it’s another year and no one will send me a card saying, I love you or Be My Valentine”. My throat began to get choked up and I caught myself almost grieving again, I thought to my self- no, not anymore! I chuckled and started to smile at my reflection, which then smiled back at me. I then talked to my other self in the bathroom mirror, “I don’t really need anyone to tell me they love me. I am my own Valentine! I am God’s Valentine!”
For many years I had been healing my wounds through various methods and teachings and have now begun to accept and love myself unconditionally. That means- like myself the way I am. So in that moment in front of the mirror, I decided to break out of the old pattern of self-pity and I gave myself a gift of a fun-filled day, doing what I like to do.
When one feels love inside and all around oneself and actually is the embodiment of love- is love in action, then one does not need to hear anyone say I love you. It is nice to hear, but love is not need. If we lack self-love, we seek confirmation and want others to tell us constantly how great we are. This neediness can become quite addictive and can drive others away from us because they feel suffocated. We crave so called love or to be popular more and more, therefore constantly setting ourselves up for disappointments when admiration is not mirrored back to us. Yes, all we experience is a reflection! What one feels inside oneself radiates out into the world and like a boomerang it comes back to us- good or bad. This is how the universe works.
A week after Valentine’s Day that same year, I was sitting on the beach, like I love to do, gazing out over the picturesque late afternoon sky and heavenly colors reflecting off the turquoise ocean, when I spotted a pinkish package floating in the water. I was not wearing my prescription glasses, so the vision was a little fuzzy at first. I kept the bundle in sight, as small waves were carrying it towards the shore. Suddenly, I thought, what if it was something illegal that fell over board and then I would have to call the police. It was really coming closer and closer to me and I began feeling a little nervous. So I got up off my beach towel and went down to the waters edge to wade into the water to approach the floating object. As I realized what it was, I started to laugh out loud. It was a pink heart shaped balloon with “Be My Valentine” written on it. I couldn’t believe it.
With joy in my heart, I gratefully accepted my Valentine’s gift from Mother-Ocean and God- seven days after February 14.
Kyria Alu’ela Lumina is a spiritual medium, metaphysical teacher, healer, and channel of ancient sacred incantations and is known for singing “The Song of Your Soul”. She is also available for individual energy and sound-healing sessions, intuitive counseling. For further info call 954-596-2596kyriaOm@hotmail.com
Niki Collins-Queen is a Licensed Professional Counselor and the author of “Earth, the Forgotten Temple: A Spirit Quest in the Wilderness.” She can be reached at earth31029@yahoo.com or www.authorsden.com/nikicollinsqueen 
